Let's Pretend I Know What I'm Talking About

I've had a few requests to talk about relationships. Apparently being in two long relationships in my entire life makes me an expert? Not even a little bit. But I do happen to have a pretty awesome marriage, so whatever, I'll write about it. It's my blog, right? I'll do what I want to.

Great relationships celebrate the little things. Like white wine.

The hubby and I have been together a little while. Eleven years sounds like a long time. And I guess it is. But it hasn't felt like it. We are in no way perfect. Not even a little bit. And every relationship is made up of different elements and different people and different needs and different wants, etc. In other words, everyone is different. What works for us might not work for you. But whatever, you asked, so I will tell.

Here's what works for us:
1. We are best friends. Sure, he's my husband, and before that my boyfriend, but above all else, we are best friends. All those things you do with your best friends? We do them. Eight hours of sitting on the couch playing Super Mario Bros? Check. Wrestling for the last chicken wing? Check. Dancing in our living room wearing huge sunglasses while listening to Justin Bieber? Check.  Atomic Wedgies? Check.

2. We don't define ourselves by our relationship. This is a tricky one, especially for us, because we meet when we were so young. It is very easy to get caught up in the "relationship" aspect of being with someone. "Me" becomes "We" very easily. I fully admit that I agree with my husband on a lot of things, and I like hanging out with him a lot more than hanging out without him, but we also have our own lives.

3. Despite being our own people, we are also a team. I know I can handle something on my own, but I also know I don't have to. If you cannot rely on your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend to help you out, then what's the point? In turn, be someone they can rely on too.

4. We laugh at ourselves constantly. Dude, don't take yourself so seriously. You're probably a really big dork, and no one should know that better than your spouse. Tease them, let them tease you. You only live once. Why so serious?

"You are a big dork." "Yeah, but so are you."

5. Sit on the couch, say nothing to each other, and watch a bad movie. Relationships have to move into reality at some point; it can't be constant communication and love and kissing and blah blah blah. Eventually you have to sit in silence and just enjoy a really bad movie together. That level of comfort is awesome.

6. You know those five hour marathon talks you have at the beginning of a relationship? Every once in a while, move beyond the "how was your day, did you pick up the milk, what's for dinner, did you start the laundry, where's my shirt, want to go to the gym?" and have a marathon talk. Even if it's about nothing all that important, spend a solid afternoon just talking every once in a while.